Amber M

Dear Amber,

Wow. I don't think I have ever sat down and thought about writing you a letter. First and foremost, you made it, kid. You made it. Look where you were almost five years ago in April.

Do you remember going to the doctor for that breast exam? Do you remember the look on the doctor's face when he found that lump that would change your life forever? Do you remember the words, "You have cancer?" Do you remember falling apart and thinking "Who is going to raise my son if I don't make it?"

With all of the chemotherapy, radiation, countless surgeries, physical changes, emotional setbacks, countless tears, anger, the birth of your second child, a second diagnosis of cancer, more medication, more body changes, a third diagnosis of cancer and then another, you sure know what it's like to go through some shit. You always seemed to smile through that shit, however.

So, you're on the mend. The cancer is gone after 4 1/2 years of fighting. You gained a lot of weight, it's hard to look at yourself at times, you feel unattractive, you feel disgusting. You have all of this medicine in your body that you have had to take everyday since day one of your diagnosis. It's physically been a burden on you but soon enough, all of your hard work will pay off and you will feel like the Amber before the cancer.

I look back at the beginning of that journey and you reminded me of this helpless little girl, but, on the way you have clawed, punched, pushed and moved many obstacles aside to stay alive, you never stopped fighting. You regained your womanhood. I never thought you had it in you to fight that hard. For the first time, I was impressed by your ability to not give up, even when you wanted to.

You're a fighter, a survivor. You're a face of hope and you love with all of your being. You are you and let that be good enough for yourself. I am proud of you.

Love,

Me