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Monday, February 21, 2011

Elle P

Dear Muse,

Hi, how are you?

…boy, this is awkward…

Look, I really want to apologize for not recognizing you. That must have made you really feel like shit. But I want you to know how much it means to me to know you just played along that whole time. You didn’t try to prove me wrong and you didn’t screw with my head like you could have and I appreciate you not taking advantage of me.

All along, I was afraid you’d leave me, and I didn’t realize you ARE me; my breath, my passion and my spark.

I feared your voice was tainted and your opinions were set to misguide me, and I’m sorry I told you to put a sock in it. I didn’t realize it really was YOU being genuine – I thought you were the whispers of someone else trying to trick me.

I haven’t been able to look you in the face for ages. In fact, it’s been so long that I fear I wouldn’t even be able to pick out your face in a crowd. And I’m embarrassed to admit I wasn’t even actually looking in your direction because I was star-crosseyed trying to keep focused on another lover.

Look – I realize now how legit you are. You’re not just shouting arbitrary hogwash to me because you want to see how high I’ll jump. You’ve been asking me to jump because you know I can fly. Before I realized who you were, you couldn’t have paid me to have faith in what I was jumping into. And now? Now I’m purposely waiting on the cliff for the most perfect burst of air to rush up and meet me from all the breathtaking beauty below and toss me into a freefall extravaganza of faith.

I’ve been dense and stubborn, convinced I was running the show and acting like I knew what I was doing. You’ve been patiently raising your hand, waiting for me to take notice and ask you to stand up and share your thoughts with the rest of the group. What I’ve only just realized is how in love I’ve fallen with you.

I’ve fallen in love with you by falling into myself.

You are my inspiration, my passion, my intuition, my heart – you are ME.

Like, literally – I’ve been falling in love with myself this whole time. No more middle man. No one else gets the credit for this one – this was all me.

I can’t wait to keep falling in love with myself over and over again.

Muse, keep it real. Remember I love you. I’ll see you soon.

Thank you for loving me.

LYLAS,

elle.

3 comments:

Iman Woods Creative said...

You and your muse are lucky ladies!

Laurel said...

Elle,
"You are my inspiration, my passion, my intuition, my heart – you are ME"
Your words are simply beautiful and so inspiring.
Laurel

Brandi said...

Spoke to my heart! Thank you for your honesty and spark and beauty and brilliance!

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