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Friday, February 25, 2011

Amber (Everywoman) M

Dear Amber,(and Erika, and Lil, and Aimee, and Iman, and Mom)…

Dear every Murphy Girl past present and future…

Dear every woman in the world that ever felt like you might not have lived the life you were meant you live:

You always believed in yourself. Face it, it’s true.

Some days it didn’t feel like it, and in the last few years that was more days than you thought you could handle. The days your mascara ran, the days your fat girl jeans didn’t zip, the days the bullies picked on you. Do you remember the one thing about you that day that made you smirk or smile? No????

Remember it now.

In kindergarten you told the teacher she drove you crazy and were sent to the corner. You believed it then and you believe it to this day.

That day when your teacher told mom and dad in parent-teacher conferences that you were “too outspoken” and your parents took your side. How important is your family? They are your strength and your center. They made you who you are, even if you didn’t appreciate it until later in life. Some even when it was too late to tell them you loved them.

Remember the day in sixth grade that the mean girls in math class cut your hair off while the bullies laughed and egged them on? That day you realized that the people in this world you hold dear will fight for you. That made you learn the inescapable need of a true friend.

You remember your first broken heart, and it still stings. And you remember every broken heart since. Yes all of them. The first love, the first time, the first “it’s not you it’s me,” the first cheat (and the second), the first marriage, the second marriage, the soul mate. A broken heart only makes you stronger and more discerning and so you take the sting of each broken heart as a badge of honor. Each broken heart makes you more aware of what you want and what you deserve. The fact that your tolerance for B.S. is low is an asset!!

Remember working three jobs, living in a slum, and selling every CD in your collection to make your tuition payment? You’ll never be able to repay yourself the gift of education but the gift alone is priceless. Keep learning, it’s the best time and energy and money you’ll ever part with.

Remember the way that even when your jeans were too tight…you had a beautiful womanly body that someone found sexy. Every gorgeous curve!!! And if he didn’t? You did, and to this day you believe you are one sexy bitch.

You remember the ache in your heart of the baby you couldn’t carry.

Never forget the way that even when the old boys in the old boys club made you think you weren’t strong enough to “roll with us”…You proved them wrong and made your own way in this “man’s world.”

Think back to that even when your baby was crying, and there was nothing in the world that could console him or her…You created this perfect little being and brought it safely into the world to learn how to laugh and love and dance. And to be!!

Remember fighting to make your marriage work? Good job! Remember deciding you couldn’t keep fighting to make your marriage work? Way to take one for the team!

Remember watching your friends fight cancer? You’ll never know how much your love and support meant to them. Remember fighting your own cancer? You made the determination that being feminine was not based on breasts alone.

Believe it or not, you had it in you all along.

Admittedly, you are the last to see it because you never put yourself first. There are too many roles in front of “me.” But you, the mama, the daughter, the breadwinner, the nurse, the family CEO /bottle washer- you are the most amazing person you know.

And the most amazing person I’m still getting to know.

Al the love in the world for you,

(and Erika and Lil and Aimee and Iman and the Murphy Girls)


Anonymous said...

Tears, tears, tears...

Iman Woods Creative said...

EVERY woman on Earth should read this! It should be translated in every language. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.

Laurel said...

You sound so unbelievably amazing, thank you so much for sharing this piece of you.

Amber Murphy said...

A PS to my love letter...

The very act of penning the things that hurt me and reflecting on the lessons I learned was powerful. All the days when I thought the world was out to get me and the only motivation I had to face the world was to let them know "I wasn't crying..."

I had it in me all along.

Thank you, Iman. What you are doing is so important and if you didn't realize the impact you would have on this world, I hope you can see it now!!

Blackhaired Barbie said...

Thank you, Amber. Love you so much. This is awesome.

Blackhaired Barbie said...

Amber this is beautiful and powerful. Thank you for writing it.

Blackhaired Barbie said...

Amber this is beautiful and powerful. Thank you for writing it.

Lisa said...

Heartfelt, Inspiring, Amazingly beautiful!!

Iman Woods Creative said...

Amber, thank you for writing a letter that every woman could and should read. Perhaps this is the beginning of changing something in our selves and society. Self-love.

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