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Monday, February 14, 2011

Lindsay K

Dear Lindsay,

It is time to accept yourself for who you are and stop allowing others to have such an impact on how you value yourself.  For too long, you have let others tell you how much you are worth and you have been grossly undersold. 

You grew up with a father who is not grown up enough himself to make time or have the understanding to acknowledge how much you needed him. He was constantly absent at his own convenience, making you feel like you were not special enough to him for him to make the time to be there. You have a somewhat emotionally “cold” mother who was there for you in the sense that she raised you and had money for you, but was not always as affectionate or enthusiastic in the way you needed her to be. She pushed you to be the wonderful, self-motivated, determined, leader that you are, but didn’t care to hear about the journey you took along the way to get there. You feel like you have always worked so hard and followed your own path and did all that any parent would dream of in a child, and were crushed and confused when it was not even acknowledged or was brushed off with only a “that’s good,” after all your hard work. You got straight A’s, stayed out of trouble, didn’t sleep around or do drugs, graduated college with honors, and now work in a profession where you have the burden of hearing other people’s pain, tragedy and drama as a 911 police dispatcher. What more could anyone possibly want from you?!? What unimaginable task would it take for them to notice?!? So off you go onto your next challenge looking for that gold star…You have spent your life up to this point waiting on people who were too selfish to realize you needed them and you are now struggling not to become that selfish person yourself.  You have gone so long without the confirmation of achievement or a “well-done” from those you thought you needed it from that you are now starting to lose confidence in yourself. You have spent your life growing into the person you thought they wanted you to become and not the one you needed to be in order to be happy. Over the years, you have acquired a “me, myself, and I” mentality and have built walls around yourself because you have yet to let a friend into your life that has not been just as selfish, and only wished to take from you and further ignore the wonderful person and all the accomplishments that is “you.” 

I commend you for finally coming to a place where you realize that it is not your fault, but theirs, for not noticing and embracing that they are lucky enough to have you in their life. You are realizing that even if nobody else notices how special you are and all of the amazing things you have done, you have still done them, and you need to congratulate yourself and celebrate those accomplishments. You also are learning that you don’t have to move mountains for affection and that hopefully you can start getting it for just being you. I commend you for finding at least one person in this world who does love and recognize all that you are and you have the rest of your life to spend with him treating you like you deserve. You are realizing that you have always been an independent woman right from the moment you went to kindergarten and decided to color by yourself while the other kids were doing something else. Your teacher thought you were having trouble adjusting, but that was just the first sign that you knew how to lead your own life regardless if anyone follows. People will not always respect your sense of individuality, but you are also learning to say “So? I’m still gonna do me, with or without you,” and not think twice about it. You are learning to start chasing the dreams you ignored while you were trying to please your parents and the idea that you needed to find a career that would pay more even if you hated it, and are also learning to open up to people who are truly worth being in your life. So, keep growing, keep striving, keep healing, and most of all, keep loving and accepting you!

Love always,

Lindsay K.


Danielle Jimenez said...

Oh Linds I love this and I love you just the way you are! You are so strong and I'm proud of you and all you've done!

Maria K. said...

Oh dear... Another fellow-overachiever. :-)

Iman Woods Creative said...

I hope you can give yourself credit for being so self-aware! You are me five or ten years ago... think of where you'll be ten years from now. :)

Anonymous said...

"To love is to be seen." It is so important for us to be acknowledged for all of the amazing things we accomplish. Give yourself a huge pat on the back. I think you should be so very proud of who you are. Thank you for sharing this and reminding everyone else that we have two chances at getting seen for who we are: first, we can be seen by the people we meet (like our parents); second, we can choose to see ourselves.

Lindsay K said...

Awww, thanks so much ladies!!! Definitely makes me feel better to get this out in the open for myself to see and see that I am not the only one who needs these things!! I shall definitely be working on it!!! **gives myself pats on the back** ;)

Jill K said...

Good job on being who you are!! Congrats on the upcoming marriage. I wish you and Travis the best!! xoxox

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