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Tuesday, February 22, 2011

Amber R

Darling Amber,

That’s the name that one of the best people in your life gave you and you still don’t believe it’s true. You have to really try sometimes to see the amazing person you are, covered in scars (mental and physical) and hiding behind a tall steel wall built to hold people out. That wall really holds you in and separates you from the beauty of your life and the wonderful experiences you have had.

Sure you have had heartache and truly desperate times like your divorce and the abuse and his adultery and lies that led to it. While he took away your identity and broke you down you learned how precious life was. You stood tall against the wind that threatened to tear you apart and you dug deep down to your roots and weathered the storm, coming out the other side stronger and healthier. You decided to take the negative energy and use it for good, earning your first of two college degrees and proving that you could be successful as a single mom in the world.

You have served your country with honor and bravery and been in places most people can only imagine, and some not in a good way. You experienced SERE training in the desert with rape simulations and POW interrogations and you were strong enough to pass and earn a career in the military that many men don’t undertake, much less women.

But strength isn’t all of you.

You look in the mirror and see an overweight and out of shape woman with acne and scars and no hope. Your kids tell you that they love you and you wonder why? What do I have to offer them but a past full of skeletons and a future of uncertainty you often say. The amazing part of you is that you work to give your children the best life you can, the life that you wanted as a child. The music lessons, the sports classes, the cooking academy are all things that will prepare them to be amazing adults. You teach them rules, structure and how to be fabulous, just like you.

Sure you aren’t magazine beautiful but who really is? An airbrush and good lighting can make anyone seem alluring, what you have to offer is inner beauty that shines from your grey green Irish eyes. Your hips have carried three beautiful children and your stomach with it’s scars and stretch marks is more a treasure map than a disappointment.

It’s said that those who never experience difficulty can never truly treasure life and that’s true for you have seen and felt the worst of the worst but when you cuddle your children or your new husband gives you a certain look you realize that you are beautiful just the way you are. Beautiful in the way of the caterpillar that must endure weeks of confinement to become the magical being it is. You have endured you have prospered and you are amazing.


Iman Woods Creative said...

Amber, this is beautiful. I hope that one day you'll be able to see yourself as your children do. Your strength is a core part of your beauty.

Laurel said...

You ARE fabulous!!! Thank you for saying what so many women feel but are afraid to say out loud. You are beautiful and courageous!

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