Gayle M

March 10, 2011

Dearest Gayle,

The past few months and the couple years before this have been a challenge. You have put a lot of consideration into your decisions and examined your reactions to every very difficult situation the likes of which you have never had to deal with at any other time in your life. Just the incident of your cousin’s death would take pages to write about and how you managed to listen with a prayerful heart to doctors, nurses and your own personal feeling regarding removing his life support system. All the while you were dealing with your mother’s deteriorating health and mental state. The shock of her turning on you while you were in the midst of burying your cousin was difficult not to take as a personal slap-in-the-face and abandonment.

You got out books to read about aging and dementia, you continued to write in your journal, your computer files that read: This Is Insane and My Thoughts Regarding. Each time reaching outside of yourself from the deepest part of yourself was your lifesaver and helped you in every circumstance. In every area of your life you studied other people’s reactions and tried to remember to breathe and observe without getting upset and lashing out. Long walks, warm baths and shampooing your hair were as important as a long vacation away from it all.

Through all of this I knew you had the resources and self-awareness necessary to work this out for yourself and if ever you felt like you could not handle it, you would go to someone for deeper understanding on how best to cope.

You are so much brighter, stronger and more lovable than you imagine and don’t ever doubt yourself, you are a survivor and whatever you come up against, you will be able to work your way, if not through it, you will work with it.

I admire you and I love you. You are my mother, sister, daughter, my hope and my love.

Always and ever,

ME