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Monday, March 14, 2011

Cheryl BW

My dear sister, friend, daughter, mother, beautiful woman,

All the negative voices have made you feel worthless, beaten down and spent. Fear of rejection or judgment made you always afraid to let your light shine. You've never felt like you were good enough, beautiful enough, strong enough or smart enough...until now.

You always felt different..and abandoned, due to your adoption even though you were raised by a family that loved you. They CHOSE you! They adore your unique personality and strength. You never felt connected to anyone, anything. You allowed yourself to be abused and beaten and kept the secrets because you felt it was all your fault. You didn't deserve it. Not one time. Not ever. And you know this now.

As you were growing up, you kept thinking that "One Day" you would wake up and feel that connection. That, and the love of your family, was the only thing that kept you from taking your beautiful young life. You thought too many times in your deepest sadness how easy it would be to just slip away because no one would ever notice. How truly wrong you were. And you know this now.

You always longed for acceptance by your friends and family but never let yourself feel it. You didn't let yourself feel the love you so deserved and was there for you. You made choices as a young adult that harmed your body and soul but you thankfully are still here to share your experiences and knowledge with your friends and darling daughters so that they may learn from your mistakes and experiences. You are stronger than you ever imagined you could be. And you know this now.

Your free spirit, endless energy and fierce loyalty to those you love is something to be admired. You put your heart out there over and over, only to get it crushed and played with, but yet you pick up the pieces and come back with a happy vengeance to put it all back together and try again. And you do this with a smile. You run circles around much younger people and they look at you with amazement. You make them tired! You are admired by your friends and family because of your contagious laugh and fun personality. And you know this now.

You have spent a couple years worth of time in bed, recovering from over 30 surgeries. Your body and an evil depression responded by doubling your body weight. Your normally small body was enveloped in a protective shell that made you feel safe. So you ate and kept that shell because then no one would expect you to do anything but be the happy, overweight girl or pay you any attention as the woman you so longed to show to the world. But, you decided you wanted to change this destructive cycle and you did! You are now healthier than you've been in decades and are as beautiful outside as you are inside. You aren't a perfect size 2, and are covered in scars, but you have a confidence now that spews out of you when you enter a room. People like to be around you. You radiate fun and positive energy. And you know this now.

Just because you have a failed relationship does not mean you don't deserve to share your life with someone. One day you will find that person who will love you for you and allow you to shine to your brightest level! They will celebrate you!! They will "get" your quirky sense of humor, be able to keep up with you, laugh with you daily, challenge your mind and soul, and you will be happier than you ever thought possible. You will make them feel the same. You will be able to drown out the negative thoughts and truly experience someones unabashed love and admiration for you. You deserve this! You will experience a beautiful, full life with them and they will always thank the moon and the stars you were brought into their life. You will feel the same about them. Always remember that you are a gorgeous and spiritual being. And you know this now.

With love and admiration,

Cheryl ♥


Anonymous said...

thank you for sharing. :)

Anonymous said...

beautiful. thanks cheryl!

Tammy said...

Incredible, inspiring letter Cheryl! Your words could very easily turn someone's life around - much as you have turned yours around! Very proud to call you my cousin:) Tammy

Tammy said...

Awesome/inspiring words Cheryl! Your incredible, emotional insight to this feeling can surely do wonders for so many...I am proud to call you my cousin:)

Anonymous said...

Life can be so complex..why do we do this to our children & ourselves? All we have to do is love one another purely & simply. Glad you overcame, Cheryl!

Bite oftheweek said...

You are such a beautiful rock star!

Bite oftheweek said...

you are such a beautiful rock star!

Teresa said...

I loved your letter! Thank you for sharing. You are an inspiration!

Iman Woods Creative said...

Cheryl, I am SO happy I've had the blessing of meeting you. You are a light. Keep shining.

Laurel said...

Thank you for sharing, your story exudes the essence of courage.

Paul Jessie and the Boys said...

thank you for sharing. :)

Anonymous said...

love you ma and you are a strong beautiful woman. and you should always know that. i know things have been hard these past two years ans when things are like that you should know that your family will always be there for you even if it doesnt always feel that way sometimes. i want to thank you for always being there to support me in eveything i have done and in everything i am doing. make yourself happy and only good things will unfold. being honest to yourself is the best thing anyone can do for themselves. love ya and things can only get better.

-your daughter Asia:)

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